


to have and to hold

by milfbyers



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:29:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24921592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milfbyers/pseuds/milfbyers
Summary: the night before joyce horowitz leaves karen dawson and becomes joyce byers.
Relationships: Joyce Byers/Karen Wheeler
Kudos: 13





	to have and to hold

joyce’s laugh covered every room in the house in a warm glow. there was nothing that could stop karen’s heart from racing or to prevent the crease of her eyebrow from dissolving when joyce threw her head back to laugh. which is exactly what she was doing right now. karen’s eyes devoured the sensitive skin of joyce’s collarbones before moving up the soft exposure of her neck to settle on the curve of her mouth where joyce’s smile was meeting her eyes for the first time in a long time.

karen’s heart ached for their future. if there was one there for them at all. as of tonight, the secret date nights in her apartment would be over. the trails of red lipstick down joyce’s neck would be washed off by morning. the black hair dye staining karen’s bathtub from when joyce needed to touch up her roots would be scrubbed off. tomorrow joyce would be dolled up in white, red lipstick and on her husband’s arm. but, for tonight she was curled up under a blanket, lost in thought and on the top of the list of things karen wanted but couldn’t have. joyce sat at the other end of the couch, a mug of tea in her hands and an engagement ring nestled on her left hand. she was spending her last night ‘alone’ in the company of karen. 

joyce met karen’s stare and smiled, “i can hear you thinking from over here. what’s wrong?” karen fixed a smile on her lips and shook her head. “nothing, honey, don’t worry about it” but joyce was already crawling into her lap and throwing her arms around karen’s neck, “talk to me… please.” karen secured her arms around joyce’s waist and buried her face in her shoulder, “just the wedding, you know how it gets me in a mood”. joyce let out a sigh as if she had been holding it all night. karen knew she shouldn’t have said anything. she should’ve happily lived in the glow of joyce’s smile and in the warm embrace of her laugh.

“i’m sorry,” joyce’s apology lingered between them as karen looked into her eyes and found tears waiting to spill over. karen nodded and whispered, “i know. i know you are.” she lifted her hand to wipe at joyce’s eyes. “it’ll be okay, i promise,” karen tried but the look in joyce’s eyes isn’t as promising but she nods in agreement anyway. karen takes a moment to breathe in everything around her. 

she noted joyce’s hand curled in her hair. she felt joyce shift her weight so her legs were straight out in front of her and karen could sense joyce’s eyes on her again. karen leaned forward and captured joyce’s mouth with her own. her hands found their way into joyce’s hair and she was beginning to part her lips, to deepen the kiss, when the warmth wasn’t there anymore. 

karen opened her eyes to find joyce’s filled with worry and regret and guilt and every emotion that karen should be feeling right now. instead karen was focused on the disappointment of what will come. the heartbreak both of them will be feeling when joyce’s pillow is unoccupied in the morning. 

“what- what’s wrong?” karen adjusted to let joyce move out of her lap. “i just don’t- i don’t think we should be doing that,” joyce admitted and wouldn’t meet karen’s eyes. karen felt her heart sink. she noticed joyce’s eyes following her as she reached for the abandoned pack of cigarettes on the table. she pulled one out and stuck it between her lips to light it before saying, “because you’re getting married tomorrow?” 

joyce straightened her shoulders and karen could see the fire in her eyes. she hadn’t meant to start a fight. it’s just so easy to slip into this mood. losing joyce to lonnie byers wasn’t really the cards she expected life to hand to her and now she was bitter and alone. “because i don’t want to fall in love with people i can’t have, karen.” karen’s eyes widened and she choked on the smoke she just inhaled. joyce’s hands were shaking and karen watched her chew at the skin on her bottom lip. 

the reply came faster than karen had time to think about it, “tomorrow you will be married and happy and, hopefully, protected by a man who will be able to take care of you better than i ever could. maybe work on falling in love with him instead.” as soon as she said them, karen wished she could go back and swallow the words whole. that she could let the sentence disappear on her tongue before it was taking form as the hurt and disappointment on joyce’s face. “joyce, i’m sorry i shouldn’t-” she tried desperately to get joyce to understand why but she was met with joyce shaking her head. 

“you don’t mean that, karen. you’re hurt, i know you are, but so am i and this decision is something i have to go forward with. i can’t- i can’t be stuck in hawkins forever.” joyce inhaled on the cigarette she had lit and karen watched her form her lips into a perfect “o” to exhale. karen was so desperately in love and destined to be heartbroken. 

she moved closer to joyce and took her hands into her own. “i’m sorry. let’s go to bed, okay? we don’t have to talk about anything and we can just forget… please?” karen begged. with her plea, she watched joyce melt under her touch. “okay, we can do that” joyce agreed. karen kissed her hairline gently, one silent “i love you, too” pressed into her skin and she led joyce into her bedroom.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u so much for reading!! i hope u love these two as much as i do <3 you can find me on twitter @milfbyers and milf-byers.tumblr.com


End file.
